It has been said how the order
of your birth reflects on your life adjustment. Whether it may be you’re an only
child, the oldest or the youngest, there’s certain attitudes one must portray
in the family. According with the passage “How your birth order influences your
life adjustment” by Lucille Forer, I agree when she states “an important part
of his identity is his family position”.
When you’re the oldest, the parents
usually expect the child to be more capable and more responsible. The oldest
grows up in the sense that he/or she must play a this role for the youngest
siblings. Opposed to the middle child, may think of itself to be able to do
things belter because of the capability it has above his siblings. But yet sometimes,
they will run to an older sibling or parents for help. So they know there able
to obtain for help when needed. And as the youngest, well they know they can be
always taking care of. In the opposite side, an only child must always think
that even though the parents may not always be around, they must be more
independent. They must learn things without the assistance of others.
An example would be from the
book “the color of water” in the story talks about how the oldest sibling
growing up in a black/white family, had to be a father figure to its siblings.
After he’s father dying, he had to take the responsibility in taking care of
the family. Him wanting to have a normal childhood, he had to assist his mother
when not present to do father figure activities. He was seen as a role model
even though he didn’t want to take a responsibility so huge. But because he was
the oldest, that choice was never given.
Another example was from the
movie “beastly”. This young man was an only child. Instead of growing up with
responsibilities, he had it all. Young rich but yet cruelled at heart due to
his father never truly paying attention to him. Because he had a cruel heart, a
curse was put on him. He had one year to find love. Once he was able to find
love, the curse was lifted and he changed for the better image for himself.
One last example would be a
personal one of myself. I am the oldest here in the U.S. I grew up to mature
for my age. I missed out a lot in my childhood by taking care of my little
sibling. At the time when my parents didn’t see eye to eye, I had to give a mother
figure role. My mother told me to do everything and always counted on me to
take for my sibling. There was no room for mistakes. Independent I was because I
was the oldest. I grew up thinking my identity was to be a mother figure and
not a child growing up into an adult.
The
order you are in a family places the child a specific task that needs to be
played. It makes a child to develop certain attitudes/ behaviors towards people
and most of all to itself.
